I HAVE A FUTURE, I SWEAR

A rundown of my week so far:

Studied a whopping grand total of 14 hours for my econ test, and I bust out a C on the final.

I am a smart and capable woman.

Procrastinated studying for linear algebra by peeling my pomegranate.  When my roommate got home, she asked what the purple spots were on our ceiling.

I am a smart and capable woman.

Ok. Bragging time. Studied a mere 6 hours for my mechanics of materials test and walked out with 100%.  Yet another living testimony that I shouldn't be an econ major and should stick to engineering.

I am a smart and capable woman.


{No sarcasm that time}

Procrastinated some more (honestly, this is my week. Procrastinate. Take Test. Rinse. Lather. Repeat.) by microwaving popcorn for my personal consumption.  It was also a celebratory measure taken in behalf of my mechanics test score. Score = 100, in case you forgot. Anyways, you know how you can elevate the package with an inverted bowl to maximize the poppage capacity?

Uh, yeah.

Whoops.

I am a smart and capable woman.

*Tupperware failure was due to the fact that I neglected to calculate the maximum temperature of the popcorn bag and compare it to the minimum melting temperature of standard soft plastic before popping.  You would think that after  - ahem - *ACING* my mechanics materials test (oh, did I mention that already??)  I would have applied my fountain of knowledge to real life.

THE WOES OF MY COOKING

Today, my sunny side up eggs stuck to the pan.

I forgot rule numero uno of cooking. GREASE THE PAN.

They turned into scrambled eggs rather quickly.

Boo.

ROUND TO ONE SIG FIG (SIGNIFICANT FIGURE)

This is great news. 

I made food without following a recipe to the nearest 

1/8 of a teaspoon. 

I needed to redeem myself after numerous meals made by talented men.  I felt like my ego was hit a little too hard. Ya know, kind of like if the girl fixes the guy's car? (Which I fully intend on doing in my future marriage someday.  There might be a reversal of roles in some areas of my household.)

anyways...
Some risotto
chicken broth until the rice was cooked al dente
tossed in some roasted red peppers
....a splash of white wine vinegar....
dash of a few spices
....dumped in some onions until it looked good
and pepper, pepper, pepper.

You don't understand, this was really hard for me.

VOILA!

(not to be confused with my instrument, the viola)

Sorry about the lame picture.  Maybe I'll get a real camera soon, instead of using my crappy, pixelated phone.

Oh, and on the right track to becoming a
"DOMESTIC GODDESS"?

Check.

EPIC FAIL

I'm not quite the "domestic goddess" that I had hoped....

Translating my expression: What. The. H.

They are supposed to be candy corn cookies.

I'll let you be the judge....

TOO CUTE TO HANDLE

I am in love. 

Thank you Bakerella!!!!

It might be hard to tell by the picture..but it is cake dipped cleverly in chocolate.

(dye white dipping chocolate yellow and pink)

I made TONS....

I can't get over them. So. Cute.

Directions:

1. Bake cake according to directions and crumble it up in a bowl

2. Mix frosting with cake in until you can form balls with the cake crumbs

3. Freeze cake balls for easy handling

4. Use small paper baking cups (they look like miniature cupcake liners) and fill 1/2 way with dipping chocolate

5. Press the frozen cake ball into the chocolate filled cups

6. Let harden and remove paper.

7. Dunk tops into more dipping chocolate.

8. Immediately decorate with sprinkles of your choice.

I will slowly transform into a domestic goddess like my mother.  

Just you wait.

I HATE BORSCHT.*

List #6

I hate borscht because...

1. It turns my hands purple from all of the beets.
2. It takes two years to cut up all of the vegetables required.
3. It tastes like red water.
4. I am incapable of making it.
5. I could tie-dye purple shirts in a vat of it because of all the cabbage/beets. Gag me.
6. I hate borscht.

It was bad. No pictures today.

*Overdramatization

I DON'T DO PANCAKES

My mother can't make Jell-O

I can't make pancakes.

Life isn't fair.

I mean, for reals.

Exhibit A:

C'mon spatula! Get under there! Think SKINNY...

Exhibit B:

I forgot the formula for the area of a circle as I was pouring batter.

Exhibit C:

Uh.....yeah.

And I forgot to mention the discoloration:

Chocolate milk. Yeah. Bad idea.

Recipe for disaster:

1/2 to 1.5 cups (?) of tap water 

1 Box of Aunt Jemima's Pancake mix 

A dump of Western Family chocolate milk mix

A crappy spatula

And a girl who can't flip a pancake

SHA-ZAM!!

Stay tuned. Tomorrow I am making a labor-intensive Russian soup {Borscht} that I have never tried before so I don't know what it is supposed to taste like.


Anyone want to have dinner with me?