SELF: GOOD DAY

You are better off than you were before.
{In the famous words of my loved/hated Econ 110 professor, Kearl}

Anyways, I got some good news from him in my mailbox the other day

Thought I would never hear from the man again, frankly.

Well, I did.

I got a letter from him, telling me that I should consider choosing economics as my major.

Uh, lemme think.

Heck no.

But he left a nice handwritten P.S. at the end of the letter...

"Nice recovery from the first test"

{which I got a D on, if you recall...}

Win.

I HAVE A FUTURE, I SWEAR

A rundown of my week so far:

Studied a whopping grand total of 14 hours for my econ test, and I bust out a C on the final.

I am a smart and capable woman.

Procrastinated studying for linear algebra by peeling my pomegranate.  When my roommate got home, she asked what the purple spots were on our ceiling.

I am a smart and capable woman.

Ok. Bragging time. Studied a mere 6 hours for my mechanics of materials test and walked out with 100%.  Yet another living testimony that I shouldn't be an econ major and should stick to engineering.

I am a smart and capable woman.


{No sarcasm that time}

Procrastinated some more (honestly, this is my week. Procrastinate. Take Test. Rinse. Lather. Repeat.) by microwaving popcorn for my personal consumption.  It was also a celebratory measure taken in behalf of my mechanics test score. Score = 100, in case you forgot. Anyways, you know how you can elevate the package with an inverted bowl to maximize the poppage capacity?

Uh, yeah.

Whoops.

I am a smart and capable woman.

*Tupperware failure was due to the fact that I neglected to calculate the maximum temperature of the popcorn bag and compare it to the minimum melting temperature of standard soft plastic before popping.  You would think that after  - ahem - *ACING* my mechanics materials test (oh, did I mention that already??)  I would have applied my fountain of knowledge to real life.

FRUIT SNACKS, BLANKETS, AND BOOKS.

OH MY!

the demand for studying has died*
the supply of homework has increased
and i am encountering decreasing marginal returns
in my studying

therefore, i blog.

can you tell i have an econ test
tomorrow?

so i sit here
in the House of Blues
wrapped up in a blanket*
with the heater off.

eating fruit snacks.


life is soooo good.


*both accounts are the Boy Down The Street's fault.**




** I have to type small so he doesn't glance over and see what I am typing.  


He's crampin' my style.

I HATE YOU, KEARL.

Yes, you.
For your "masterpiece"
3.5 hour
multiple choice
aka: "a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,k,j"
economics test.


Lowest test score of my life, thank you.


And you know what I hate even more?
The bloody line you put on the end of your test:

SUNK COSTS ARE IRRELEVANT.
GO HAVE A NICE DAY.


Hah. Funny Kearl.  Real funny.

HOW TO GET A DATE IN THE LIBRARY

I have refined this to a science.

Ok fine. I know.  I need to stop relating my social life to the subjects I am studying.

But hey, my theories prove true.

When selecting a table to study at in the library, one must:

1. Check the left hand. (Sorry, but this is BYU, folks.)
2. Check for good looks
3. Check the body language of the girl next to him (if the case may be, it might be his girlf)
4. Glance at the titles of his textbooks in order to make a decision on his intellectuality.
5. Yes, this can be considered profiling. Shoot me.

All within a matter of microseconds. This is tough work!

That isn't an exaggeration, either.  There are lots of guys, uh, "tables" to scope out.

Oh, and once you are seated, 

     6. Make sure your study area looks available and welcoming.

Does this barrier of books, TI-84 and MacBook look sexy?

That's what I thought.  I thought I was doing a great job of warding off my fellow male classmates.  Not particularly in the mood for dating....

Don't give me weird looks. 

 I don't have to take my own advice

 on date shopping in the HBLL.

Anyways. I "picked the right table" on accident.

An econ major.  (The barrier was made of my Econ 110 textboks)

I had to rip off a corner of my econ assignment to write down my number for him.

That's what you get for studying in the periodical section, folks.

TIPS FOR OPTIMIZING DATING

All I need to know about 

maximizing my dating 

can be explained 

by simple

principles of economics.

Consider a situation where someone is trying to decide whether or not to continue dating their significant other...  There are a few questions one might want to ponder before executing an action.

1. Is there anything more to be gained from the relationship? (Is there more you can learn about the other person? Is there more you can learn from the other person? )

2. Would you still find it worth your time to continue dating said person?

If you say yes, continue dating.  You haven't maxed out in benefit. If you say no, then you should either break up with the person or marry them because the cost of dating said person has outweighed the benefits. 

So simple. I heart economics.

But then the individual always says:

"But I have invested so much in (insert name here)!"

or in more common
 young adult language:

"But we are such good friends
and have spent so much time together!"

To that, economics has yet another simple answer:

Sunk costs are irrelevant.

Translation: that which was spent in the past is nonrecoverable and can never affect marginal cost benefit analysis.  Or, in three words: History is bunk.

And that is the cold-hearted, hard-nosed, 

economical truth.

Author's note:  I don't wholeheartedly believe this.  Simply put, this principle is monumental in helping girls understand how their business-minded ex could justify dumping them like that [snap fingers]...

Girl, I've only got one thing to say to ya: an economist's analytical skills are WHACK. 

Q: WHY DOES MEXICAN COKE TASTE SO MUCH BETTER?

A: Because it is made with real cane sugar. (cheer!)  

We use corn syrup. (boo!)

(doesn't that just sound so...American? 
I think they are going to make rockets out of corn pretty soon...)

Well that begs the question: 

 Why don't we make Coke with real cane sugar, too?  

Are Americans just slow on the draw?

Three words: 

No Free Trade.

You see, we don't have the resources to grow sugar cane here.  (Except for a few farms in Louisiana...)  So we have to trade for it.  BUT our brilliant government puts down restrictions*. Like tariffs. (Boo!)

We could get sugar for 14 cents a pound, but the tariff increases it to 24 cents a pound.  That is too expensive for our Coca Cola Corporation.  See why we revert to good ol' corn syrup?  We are suffering here!

Get this: Those Louisiana sugar cane farmers? Think they live the life of a modest farmer? Think again.  Try a yearly income of  $1 MILLION. I am switching from engineering to farming.

So, uh, what dwindling sugar cane farming industry are we trying to "preserve" here?  

That's what I thought.

You should really be booing now.
[ Boo squared! ( = boo!^2   = BOOOO!) ]

Ok, so if we took the tariff off, the overwhelming supply of sugar probably would wipe out the Louisiana farmers.  But that's ok.  Our economy would actually be better off as a whole. And they wouldn't be out of a job, they would just relocate...to....ya know....corn farming....

I hear that the industry is absolutely booming. 

(cheer!)

*Economists are still baffled as to why our government does this.  It doesn't make economical sense.