THE ENGINEER, NURSE, AND MUSICIAN

How do these three occupations support one another? Please read the following morbidly-true-story-conversation to find out how.

Future Engineer:
"I better go and study so I don't make a fatal error someday and blow up hundreds of people--like designing a jet engine out of magnesium. (magnesium is extremely flammable, people) HEY! I'll just send 'em to YOU! (referring to the Future Nurse below...)"






Future Nurse: 
"Well looking at my quiz scores today in my nursing classes...I'll probably end up killing all of the wounded passengers instead of saving their lives."











Future Musician: 
"And I'll play taps on my trumpet at the passengers' funeral. "








{Silence.}


Future Musician: No, seriously.  Please don't study.  I need job security.

I HATE MATH

I mean, sometimes.  Like today this is what my math professor said:

"Oh, shoot. I forgot to put those kinds of problems on the homework--and those problems are on the test. Here, let me teach you how to make up your own multivariable differential equation problems and then you can solve them on your own for practice."

Transaltion: "Let me teach you how to solve a problem backwards that you don't even know how to solve forwards. Then if you solve it forwards and your answers match...you'll be fine on the test."

At this point, I think I'm aiming a bit high when I hope for a D+ out of this course.

(S)HE WILL BE AN ENGINEER

Never lead a normal life.
Utter social ineptitude.

I'm toast.

SELF: GOOD DAY

You are better off than you were before.
{In the famous words of my loved/hated Econ 110 professor, Kearl}

Anyways, I got some good news from him in my mailbox the other day

Thought I would never hear from the man again, frankly.

Well, I did.

I got a letter from him, telling me that I should consider choosing economics as my major.

Uh, lemme think.

Heck no.

But he left a nice handwritten P.S. at the end of the letter...

"Nice recovery from the first test"

{which I got a D on, if you recall...}

Win.

YOUR LUCKY NUMBER IS ... FIVE

There seems to be a recurring theme from this weekend...something about ordering foreign commodities (see post below this one) and screwing it all up.... for example:

The Boy Next Door and I ordered wayyyy too much chinese take out last weekend.
We didn't know what we were doing.

He got off the phone after hearing the total of the bill and said:

"Sarah, I think we ordered a lot of food."

Me: Oh crud.

Can you say LEFTOVERS FOR FIVE MEALS?!?

Mounds of sesame chicken.  Oopsie poopsie.

visual representation of our folly

Not to mention THE WORST fortune in the world came out of my cookie:

Your lucky number for this week is the number five.

Really. REALLY?

What kind of fortune is THAT?

Oh wait, five meals of leftovers. Riiiight.

MATH IN INDIA

RESTRICTED!  ONLY FOR SALE IN INDIA, BANGLADESH, NEPAL, PAKISTAN, SRI LANKA, & BHUTAN.

This was the warning printed on the front of the "international version"* of my differential equations textbook.  *A paperback version whose front cover doesn't even remotely resemble the bookstore's version

The package looked like a bomb on my doorstep.

It was shoddily wrapped--opened previously and resealed with yellow tape.

The book barely made it through customs, apparently.

Brand spankin' new from New Delhi, India

Well folks, that's what you get for being a cheapskate and buying your $120 retail price textbook for a mere $30 from a sketchy website...Pure contraband. 

WORLD'S BEST ONE-LINER-COP-OUT

You know when a guy asks you out and you don't really want to go out with him? I mean, he is nice, and a great guy, and has a.....um....a sweet spirit?

Yeah. You know the type.

Translation: You're not interested.

So what is a girl to do?? Do you REALLY want to crush heart into smithereens by saying "No thanks."?  And do you REALLY want to grin-and-bear-it through dinner and polite small talk while simultaneously dropping courteous hints like T-mobile drops calls BUT STILL retaining a cordial air and tone??  

(And to think that I actually considered my differential equations class to be stressful, complicated and full of too many variables...)

Well ladies, this is when I praise the high heavens that I can honestly use the phrase:

"I'm sorry, but I'm dating someone."

Love it.

He can't take it personal, no bad feelings between both of you, and best of all: you don't feel like some heartless beast.  So great.  

Hope you can truthfully use it too.  

Best wishes in the dating game,

Sarah

FIRST DAY OF WINTER SEMESTER

goes like this:

10:00 class--canceled by professor

12:00 class--canceled by professor

1:30 class--Political Science 100 professor explains his bias against us "American Heritage Refugees" since the majority of the class enrolled in order to wimp out of the university GE requirement. 

I'd say the semester is going pretty well so far.