WHO MADE YOU THE HAIR POLICE?

One day at the playground in 1st grade a girl made fun of my braids.
"Why do you always wear your hair like that? It's funny."

...Bless my mother's heart, she really did do a wonderful job on my hair... 

The next day I refused to let my mother comb my hair. My mother demanded to know where my attitude came from.  After explaining the incident on the playground, my mother said:

"Well who made HER the hair police?"

{One of my mother's better quote-able quotes. }

..............................................

Today, I was shopping for boots with my mother.  I couldn't even try on the boots with fur.  

No. Fur.

My mother asked where my attitude came from.

"There is this boy down the street that criticizes girls' boots in the winter. He says NO FUR."

"Well who made HIM the boot police? 

...Wait, don't you, uh, question his...masculinity?"

Good call, Mom.  Good call.

No fur.

I got some classy boots, anyways->